Stoning

Stoning. Mind blanked out for awhile. This period is stressful for me, no doubt. With the semester coming to an end and project submissions due. It is not easy to have a clear state of mind or be positive about it when you are questioning yourself. Questioning your own abilities, questioning yourself.. Why are you still doing this when you have so little time left? "You are your own worst enemy" I couldn't agree more to that. I know we all only have 24 hours a day and there actually is no "too little time", it's just a matter of how you prioritise your time. I'm ashamed to say that I've always been a loser in this. I can't prioritise for nuts. Maybe it's high time I really really start giving this a serious thought. I need to have the will, the strong will to want to do my best. Since semester 1, I've been having this inferior complex about my artworks and it isn't getting better this semester. Despite encouragements, (it only lasts for a few secs/mins) I will still go back to that inferior mode. I don't know why, but I think I really need to stop doing this. It's making me feel suffocated and sad, like I can't do anything good. And also, it isn't good that I'm always in hall alone (cos my roomie always go home). I tend to sink further and further down into the already deep hole I am in. My thoughts run wild and I just keep thinking negatively. Once you start this negative thinking, it isn't as easy to stop thinking about it suddenly. I know my circumstances are much much better compared to others and to solve what I am facing would be to think positively and try harder. But... it's just me. I feel so hopeless at times and so hopeful in another moment. I don't know why am I so up & down. Maybe I have issues. Haiz. Tough week.